Ooh, ooh, ooh; want to learn how to defend yourself against pointed sticks, do we?

Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh?

Well let me tell you something my lad!

When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after YOU with a bunch of loganberries, don't come cryin' to me!

Da Monty Python's Flying Circus - "Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit" (1969)